A Whole New World...

So it's summer break! FINALLY!
Last time I wrote it was just before starting school. And it was all just so exciting and overwhelming. I feel so many emotions - happy, excited, relieved, and maybe even a little exasperated. I feel like I have triumphed, like a soldier - I might even be suffering from a little post-traumatic stress.

 

Just kidding. It wasn't that bad. It was certainly an adventure!
I was super excited about meeting new people, plunging into a new environment. I felt like an explorer - leaving my homeland to discover what savagery lay beyond my civilization. It was thrilling!

My first day was a Disney princess moment...

And over the next months... I learned so many amazing things about life, people, and myself. It was truly...

 But it wasn't always so dazzling. Believe me.
I knew it was going to be tough going out into the world after my years of homeschooling in the calm shelter of my home. I knew that my parents were not exaggerating about how crazy the world really is. But when I was actually out there...
Boy, was I surprised.
It took me a while to get used to it. And since I've finally gone on break... It's taken me a while to wind down.

I know there's plenty of homeschool girls out there about to enter a secular university/college for the first time ... So here it goes!

TEN things a conservative homeschooled girl should know before going to a secular college!

1. It's crazier than you think.
You'll think I'm exaggerating. But there's immorality EVERYWHERE.

YES. EVERYWHERE.
I was flooded with exposure to so many things all at once. Promiscuity, drugs, cheating, and even horrific crimes. It is so important to keep our spiritual eyes and ears open - to be sensitive. Not only is it important as a spiritual person to become sensitive to this spirit, it is also dangerous if we do not. There are so many sheep in wolves clothing that it is vital that we be aware of their deceit.
For example, a certain boy was being extra friendly to me, messaging me through Facebook to hang out, telling me that he was a worship leader and that I should go with him one night to a bible study. Although a bible study sounded pleasant, I refused and put a thick boundary between us because the Still Small Voice warned me. I never answered his messages and avoided him at school. And although people thought that he was a nice guy, I knew something was amiss.

Later, I found out that he was expelled for rape and that he had harassed many girls on campus.
So believe me when I tell you, stay alert - always alert.


2. You will get lots of questions.
"You were homeschooled?!" "How was that?" "Did you have friends?" "Did you like it?"
And when you actually respond... "I loved it. I actually miss it." Their reaction?

Yeah, you're going to be considered a weird one, freak, oddball. Just answer patiently. Most likely, they are just curious and don't mean to be annoying. They have been brought up in the mainstream school system and don't know any better. Honestly, if I were in school all my life, I would be asking the same thing.


3. Your clothes will actually be dissed.

Okay, so I wear long skirts and not-so clingy clothes. And okay, I like to dress sort of conservative/ hippie-ish. But do you have to bug me about not looking "cool" or "hip"? I know you mean to ask curiously, but please stop. You're dissing my clothes. Shut up.
Be warned, my friends. You will actually get these questions: "Why don't you wear tight jeans?" "Are you not allowed to wear pants?" "Why don't you wear shorts?" And surprisingly, I got all these questions from guys. The girls just go... "Are you seriously wearing that?" I kid you not. This is not a scene from Mean Girls - It happened.

Usually I'm sure they all don't mean it in a cruel way - one of the guys who bugs me about my clothes is a friend and means it for good. But it can get annoying from others. Just don't get discouraged. Put on your conservative clothes - whatever style you prefer and be happy and confident in it. Why bend to the demands of society? Who cares? Everyone - except the people who matter.

4. You will be thought of as a victim.
"You did chores?!" Yeah, so people are going to think you are a kind Cinderella or other victim of cruel parents. I have often been referred to as "Rapunzel" - and not because of my long hair. They think because I did chores and was homeschooled, I was kept away from the world in a tower by some kind of... Mother Gothel.

Since I'm a drama queen, I thought this was pretty funny. Until I realized they were actually serious. And then I was just like.... NO. I am no victim. In fact, I think I was extremely privileged. If it wasn't for my homeschooled background I highly doubt I would have been able to expand my reading and knowledge as well as make time for extracurricular activities like the writing of eleven novels and the practicing of classical piano. Things I love and could never regret.


5. You will be told you need a childhood.
"You've never played a video game?" "You've never been to Disney?" "You never had a sleep-over?" "YOU NEED A CHILDHOOD!"

 

Homeschoolers do not need childhoods. In fact, I think we had more of a childhood than anyone in public schools could ever had. Come on, how is playing a video more mind-enhancing than acting out Shakespeare with friends and siblings? How is playing outside in nature and building forts and acting out historical events "abuse" when compared to the ever-so-enviable lives of public school children.
Don't even try reasoning with the, - they just don't understand. And it's sad. They have no idea how fun it is to stay up late sharing stories about the American Revolution or acting out scenes of Little House on the prairie with siblings.

6. You will realize your mom and your books are the best teachers you can have.

 

 

 So apparently professors are really boring and useless a lot of the time.
Usually when you have questions, they wont answer. They are professionals at this. They will address any other issues except what you are asking. Much like politicians I guess.
They will ramble on about the theories and ideas surrounding your question - theories and ideas that  never even existed until you ask. They go on to address the origins, the affects, and the history behind what you are asking. The answer? "It's all in your textbook."
In other words...

I'm exaggerating in this of course. But not by much when it comes to a few professors.
I mean, we homeschoolers are used to reading the textbook and getting stuff done. And when we have a question? Ask mom! And when mom doesn't have the answer... Google!
Why complicated things with all your personal stories and agendas? Or even your personal emotions?
It can sometimes get unprofessional.
For example, two professors were carrying on an affair and showed it very obviously in the classroom setting. Another professor shared obscene stories about his promiscuous lifestyle as "musical" examples" to his students. And one particular young professor was even interested in me as much more than a student.

But don't be depressed! There are some AMAZING professors out there!
I had a wonderful experience with my Music History professor. He was a beautiful person. He was interested in the students personally and did his best to insure they passed with flying colors. One day I had the pleasure of an unexpected lunch with him and discovered he was  Christian man of upright values with an amazing background of travel. He spent a great amount of time in Africa, living among tribes who had never even seen a white man before or other elements of western society. He was a fascinating man and wonderful teacher and I will miss being in his classes.


7. You will not be excused from guy attention just because you're a modestly dressed Christian.
You think that because you wear long skirts and read the Bible that you're exempt from the attention of guys? That they wont even consider you? Think again.
Prepare yourself and learn the ways of... friend-zoning.

It's simple yet complicated... It's tough when you think the guy is a really cool person and neat friend. You don't want to hurt their feelings but at the same time.. It must be done.
Guys are tricky creatures. They're more sensitive than we think. And yet there is rarely a good one found in secular universities - one that you would want to stay with for a life-time. Or even in a steady relationship. It's tough for lots of girls to wait for the right person. I understand they can get impatient  and frustrated, and maybe even wish to settle for less than they deserve.
But you must not give attention to the first guy who likes you! Friend-zone them!
If later you realize that person is the one you can see yourself with or years... go for it.
And if you don't like them and they don't understand the friend-zone concept... There's always the frying pan.

I personally am in no hurry to find someone. This is mostly because I want to focus on my musical and artistic career. Also, I am enjoying my new found independence as an adult and am not too excited about committing to a person before I build my Self and shape myself into the best person I can be.

 


8. You will be thought of as a freak.

It'll be funny at first to be the odd one - the fish out of water. You may even think it's cool and become haughty about being "different". But after a while... the jokes get old.
Especially the jokes calling you a snob. Look, just because I am sort of a grammar nerd and a history geek does not mean I am academically OCD!
So I correct your text-lingo. So what? Learn to spell!

 

Just kidding. I'm not a snob.
But believe me, your academic background WILL be the source of many a joke at the lunch table.
AT times, you'll feel overwhelmed by being the odd one. The one who isn't as experienced or as knowledgeable in things of the world.. And at times you'll feel like you can never fit in right.

The good news is...?


9. You will meet other awesome freaks.

I have met some pretty amazing people. Lots of funny brass players, many interesting pianists, and lots of crazy composers. My closest friend is a girl I can easily talk to and who understands my belief system, since we share very similar convictions. We support each other, keep each other accountable, and have hilarious adventures on our campus. I'm so blessed to have her and the many other fun people surrounding me at school.


10. You will be stronger and even better because of all this.
So lastly...

My first year at university has been crazy. But wonderful.

It has been an experience that has made me a stronger and wiser person. It’s easy to be yourself at home, without people constantly pushing you to conform. It’s an intense transition. Sometimes you’ll feel like just curling up at home and wishing you could disappear.

But don’t give into that. We are a product of our influences. But we are also warriors that can fight what influences we do not want and defend the ideas we must hold to.

University is a beautiful place. The library, the new people, the excitement of being thrust out into the world. But it’s also pretty tough. So pray and pray and pray… And know that there is always a G-d to give you shalom when you need rest.

Speaking of rest…

I’m going to enjoy my summer break!